Grateful

There's a firetruck on my windowsill, and it reminds me of how lucky and grateful I am to be a mom. Sometimes I forget, and curse and cry and even (God forbid) say that I don't want to be one right now (when it's a particularly rough day, or it was a particularly tough, not-much-sleep night), but I have been seeing the good in things lately, trying to wake up and see and listen and watch for all the things I am grateful for--and right now I am noticing how much we have and how damn lucky we are to have the son we do--the past couple of days he's just been so delightful, laughing and happy and wonderous--but just to have him after what we went through with 5 miscarriages, well, it's just quite amazing. And that I get to be home with him most of the time is compiling a stack of many moments I could never get back, and I realize again how lucky I am to be able to do that...sometimes I loathe our condo, no yard, noisy, etc etc. But instead I am now grateful to even have a home and to have gotten a part time job in this economy--WOW--I am just counting my blessings. Well that almost two year old little boy is up now, and I suppose I should go get him. There is nothing better than being able to do that.

Ten things I am Grateful for Today (Thus far)

1. Fat Free brownies (made with yogurt) from Trader Joe's--damn good!
2. My son, of course (especially when he's asleep)
3. The tree outside my window
4. Ladies Short program Figure Skating (Olympics) starts tonight!
5. Really good friends
6. Having enough
7. PBS
8. Red wine
9. Still having a home
10. Quiet
11. Grandma's (Had to add that one as I just thought of it and could not leave it out)

Just providing a service...

Hey out there all you campers/B & B'ers: According to Reserve America, there is a private beach cottage available this Friday, Feb 12th (for one night) at the VERY HARD TO GET Crystal Cove Beach Cottages in Laguna Beach. Wish we could go, but alas, there is that thing called WORK. So, just wanted to send an alert to anyone who would like to go--these cottages are supposed to be lovely and right on the cliffs above the beach. They are also extremely reasonable. They book up months in advance, and it's rare to find one available. The weather here in So Cal is beautiful right now, though you never know what it may be like next week....
Good Luck : )

Addendum: It's gone already : ( but there appears to be one on the 16th

Facebook | The Secret

Facebook/The Secret: "The Secret--What is it you really want? What is the outcome you want? Your job is to hold to the outcome of what you want, and to feel the outcome of what you want, and to feel the outcome as though it is here now. That is your job. The HOW it will come about is the Universe’s work. So many people trip up on this and try and work out the how. (The Secret Daily Teachings)"

I need to post this up somewhere...

Dilemma

OK, I suppose I need to know if I am being selfish--the dilemma is that my husband does not, I repeat, does NOT want any more children. We have one almost 2 year old son, whom we went through a lot of ups and downs to have. He is our miracle baby, being born after 5 consecutive miscarriages. He is our one and only. Having gone through all that, we were, well, (especially myself as I'm a few years elder than my hubby) "older" when we had him. The reasons he gives are that a) They are a LOT of work (I wholeheartedly agree with that!), b) He would like to have a half decent night's sleep, c) He keeps saying he'll be fifty when the boy is ten. d) He wants to retire before he's 97. I suppose I could go through the whole alphabet, but you get my drift. On my side, although I think I am somewhat crazy, I want to try for another so my son will have a brother or sister, as well as hoping (!), trying (!) for a girl this time around. He has his boy, now I want to try for my girl! Not that I don't adore and love my beautiful son. He is the best. But I just want to try. For some reason, I think I'll regret it if I don't at least try. If it doesn't happen, I will always be grateful for what I have. Well, we have discussed, argued and gone around with this, and he finally agreed (gave in is what it was) to try through Feb. Because after that, even I don't want another because I will be older than 44 when she is born...I just don't think I have the energy. But for now, we are "trying". Am I being selfish to ask him to do this since he so adamantly doesn't want more? For those of you who think we should, do you have any tips (besides those ovulation sticks) for conceiving? Time is of the essence!